Sparing Tender Sensibilities
Rona Mohammed Amir, the first wife of the Afghan-Canadian on trial for the 'honour killings' of his three teen-age daughters and Ms. Amir, remained with her husband Mohammad Shafia, despite the torment she suffered at the hands of his second wife, Tooba Mohammad Yahya. One might logically ask why any woman would allow herself to be abused as she was, but then there is the issue of the issue.
She had none, she was said to be barren, hence her husband's choice of a younger, fertile woman for a second wife. She became the beloved, trusted and caring "Auntie" to the children born of the union between her husband and his second wife. Particularly for the girls, it would appear. It is entirely possible that her love for those girls and perhaps even the other children kept her there.
She feared for their safety and for hers as well. In writing to her relatives back in Afghanistan she revealed to them her innermost thoughts about her dilemma and her fears, and they are now more than willing to testify in court in the memory of their lost relative.
The honour code of a country mired deep in fundamentalist Islam, a religion which has not advanced since the 7th Century when it was encoded for a tribal Bedouin society, one which was entirely tribal focused, and misogynistic, viewing women as valuable livestock, remains intact in many Muslim countries. An integral part of the culture, consigning girls and women to misery.
The girls of the Shafia family, sisters Zainab, Sahar and Getti found the social environment in Canada far more to their liking than that which was left behind in Afghanistan. They revelled in the freedom and the social atmosphere of casual acquaintance and normal teen-age pursuits. Which enraged their tyrannical father and concerned their mother, totally in concert with her husband.
It beggars the mind, but one might be able to accept nonetheless that a son would emulate his father, respect his values reflective of the culture left behind, and identify with the concept of "honour" requiring the death of siblings to be restored. Traditionally in such cultures it is the father, the son/brother, uncles involved in meting out tribal justice condoned by Sharia law.
But the mother of those girls? The woman who gave birth to the daughters, who watched them as they matured, who knew their personalities and should have treasured them for what they represented to her, her very beloved daughters for whom she should have had endless compassion?
She was complicit, along with her husband and her son, in the deaths of her three daughters and the sole family member who understood them, who also represented her rival in matters of the marriage bed. Had she not assented, she would certainly have been held to scorn by her husband and perhaps even her son. She might have suffered a grievous loss of respect by him.
But she would have retained her humanity. This mother of many children agreed to the plan to dispatch her three daughters, beautiful young girls in the first blush of life, aspiring to be like any other Canadian youth, in love with the opportunities that awaited them in the fulfillment of their destinies. Even they might not have been able to imagine what truly lay in wait for them.
The mother asked to be excused from the court during the showing of video film footage taken by the investigating police diver, of the newly-purchased family vehicle, a funereal-black Nissan, that held the inert, drowned bodies of her three daughters. Oh yes, and that of her despised sister-wife.
She had none, she was said to be barren, hence her husband's choice of a younger, fertile woman for a second wife. She became the beloved, trusted and caring "Auntie" to the children born of the union between her husband and his second wife. Particularly for the girls, it would appear. It is entirely possible that her love for those girls and perhaps even the other children kept her there.
She feared for their safety and for hers as well. In writing to her relatives back in Afghanistan she revealed to them her innermost thoughts about her dilemma and her fears, and they are now more than willing to testify in court in the memory of their lost relative.
The honour code of a country mired deep in fundamentalist Islam, a religion which has not advanced since the 7th Century when it was encoded for a tribal Bedouin society, one which was entirely tribal focused, and misogynistic, viewing women as valuable livestock, remains intact in many Muslim countries. An integral part of the culture, consigning girls and women to misery.
The girls of the Shafia family, sisters Zainab, Sahar and Getti found the social environment in Canada far more to their liking than that which was left behind in Afghanistan. They revelled in the freedom and the social atmosphere of casual acquaintance and normal teen-age pursuits. Which enraged their tyrannical father and concerned their mother, totally in concert with her husband.
It beggars the mind, but one might be able to accept nonetheless that a son would emulate his father, respect his values reflective of the culture left behind, and identify with the concept of "honour" requiring the death of siblings to be restored. Traditionally in such cultures it is the father, the son/brother, uncles involved in meting out tribal justice condoned by Sharia law.
But the mother of those girls? The woman who gave birth to the daughters, who watched them as they matured, who knew their personalities and should have treasured them for what they represented to her, her very beloved daughters for whom she should have had endless compassion?
She was complicit, along with her husband and her son, in the deaths of her three daughters and the sole family member who understood them, who also represented her rival in matters of the marriage bed. Had she not assented, she would certainly have been held to scorn by her husband and perhaps even her son. She might have suffered a grievous loss of respect by him.
But she would have retained her humanity. This mother of many children agreed to the plan to dispatch her three daughters, beautiful young girls in the first blush of life, aspiring to be like any other Canadian youth, in love with the opportunities that awaited them in the fulfillment of their destinies. Even they might not have been able to imagine what truly lay in wait for them.
The mother asked to be excused from the court during the showing of video film footage taken by the investigating police diver, of the newly-purchased family vehicle, a funereal-black Nissan, that held the inert, drowned bodies of her three daughters. Oh yes, and that of her despised sister-wife.
posted by Pieface | 7:31 PM
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