Just Fed Up

SlutWalk RICHARD LAUTENS/TORONTO STAR

They're fed up with all the avuncular advice from the very authorities whose job it is to ensure safety for women in their homes, walking in the streets, becoming hapless victims. They're fed up with being unsafe, a target, victimized. That's how it is, live with it just doesn't cut it. Women do know enough to be cautious, to be aware; that's not the solution. And repeating it ad infinitum doesn't solve anything.

Above all - and who needs it - women are fed up with society silently blaming women for attacks they haven't provoked at all. Dress like a slut, be treated like one. It's that old blame-the-victim attitude that excuses men for picking up the 'wrong signals' a woman's body language, speech pattern, mode of dress unerringly (to him) telegraphs. That's the kind of signal that overrides an emphatic verbal "No!".

It's also the signal that judges in this country make reference to in excusing the inexcusable while dispensing justice. It's the signal that police officers, going out of their way to address vulnerable women make clear; that it's entirely up to women to protect themselves by dressing in a manner that will clearly state to a potential rapist that they're not a welcome target.

And as long as that message keeps getting put out there that women 'deserve' what they get because a man cannot be held responsible for his brutal passions and simple misunderstandings, those men will feel justified in the popular conceit of stupidity that it's not their fault; the message was the medium that invited them to act and the message was clear; bare skin equals invite.

So telling women to 'travel in groups, stick to well-lit areas, be mindful of your drink, where you leave it, and who you accept a drink from' is moronic. This is a description of a sport, one that the males who practise it think is wholesomely male-centric and acceptable. And they do this because they think they can get away with it. Society condones female provocation, overlooks male violence. One begets the other has always been the excuse.

The guy was confused, he was 'led to believe' that whatever he felt like imposing on the woman was her fault; women are coy, saying one thing, meaning another. But it ain't so, fellas, and never was. It's past time that a public campaign focused on errant male behaviour was undertaken. The guys who would never even dream of imposing themselves on women don't need it, sure.

They champion this new initiative, because they detest the brutes who violate women's human rights themselves. What's incredible is that there are enough men within society whose conscience doesn't trouble them about taking what hasn't been given. They're the insults to their own gender who need to restructure their mindsets and behaviour.

Nice touch, actually, to place posters above urinals in bars informing men to keep their hands to themselves and their flies zipped. About time it became official advice.