Say It Isn't So!

The Islamic world is embattled on all sides, from every corner of the world, by infidels, Crusaders, apostates and Jews. And their henchmen. Not necessarily of the human variety. Devious enemies of Islam have stooped to enlisting the aid of non-human spies. Worse, they've gone beyond the pale and enlisted the terror-inducing, murderous proclivities of some biological species to inspire fear in the hearts of the innocent.

They have even taught birds and fish to prey on their enemies.

There is no option but to capture and arrest the offending and offensive species, hold them incommunicado and ransom them, since the extraction of damning data has been singularly unsuccessful, even with the use of the most ingratiating of promises to indulge them in a manner their spymasters did not. They remained loyal to the humans who had enlisted them in a patently unfair and nasty war against innocent Arabs and Muslims.

Having successfully trained murderous sharks to enter the blue lagoons off Sharm el-Sheikh for the obvious purpose of frightening tourists (having taught them to avoid harassing any Israeli-variety tourists and to focus solely on other international visitors) for the dire purpose of destroying Egypt's lucrative tourism industry, the search continues for the capture of the shark that killed a German woman outside the confines of the luxury hotels.

"What is being said about the Mossad throwing the deadly shark in the sea to hit tourism in Egypt is not out of the question. But it needs time to confirm." (Mohamed Abdel Fadil Shousha, governor, South Sinai.) Obviously; one cannot go about accusing a secret service of such perfidious plots without confirmation; one needs to capture the shark and dungeon it in a watery pit and ensure it undergoes the customary confirming interrogations.

As though the shark incident were not enough of a rotten mischief, Saudi Arabia has also now been assaulted by the work of the Mossad in its spy efforts. A Mossad-conscripted vulture has now also been detained for questioning and its interrogation is expected to reveal the depraved depths Israeli secret service agents will descend to, training and equipping a vulture to spy on the Saudi kingdom.

Yet another Zionist plot, but what can one expect from a nation of Jews, after all, other than such misbehaviours, and in the process corrupting the creatures of the skies and the seas. All is not lost; the vulture has been arrested on suspicion of spying for Israeli intelligence and the truth will emerge. The bird has been identified as an Israeli agent, for its ID: R65-Tel Aviv University has been isolated along with its global positioning transmitter.

There are still steps being taken to apprehend Mossad-inducted mosquitoes infected with HIV before the entire Arab world faces extinction through AIDS-related maladies. And Iran has been busy doing its part for Islam, hanging as many enemies of the Islamic Republic as it can fit on its busy gallows before they can transmit vital information to the Zionist entity. Lebanon too, spurred by Hezbollah, is finding Jewish spies among its own.

And of course, a simple fact that has eluded the attention of Western thought, but one readily identified by Muslim countries in the Middle East; that al-Qaeda and all its off-shoots are not what they seem to be. Put as delicately as possible, those who should know inform us that al-Qaeda is a front erected as a nefarious Zionist plot meant to cast a pall of condemnation upon Arabs and Islam.

The dastardly plans of the enemies of the Arab states shall not go unpunished.