Gay Abandonment

Canadians represent a fairly relaxed society. We've been through the gay wars; those among us who clung to the quaint notion that homosexuals, transgendered and other unacceptables in the field of pairing off were an assault and an insult to society have also more or less come around to accepting the inevitable. That being that people seek comfort where they will. That being that not all people conform to what is considered to be social normatives.

And, finally, that people whose gender or sexual orientation confounds them because they're somehow different, still must be respected and accepted for what they represent; merely another expression of human emotional needs and behaviours. And while society as a whole has more or less relaxed into an attitude of acceptance, tinged in some areas with exasperation and in others with resentment, we do, by and large accept that same-sex couples are owed the same entitlements we all share.

Admittedly, it's difficult for social conservatives to find enjoyment in flamboyant expressions of otherness like the displays presented for public consumption and joy in gay pride parades. The thing is, most people find it distasteful to display aspects of their personal sexuality. Sex and intimacy are private, not public affairs. By and large most people in society are simply not interested in extravagant displays of self-indulgence.

So why exactly is it that gays take such pleasure in public display? It was heartbreaking and shameful that they had to struggle to arrive at the public acceptance that has become the norm. The anger and violence thrown at them did credit to no one, least those whose hatred for a different cultural mode painted them as ignorant and intolerant. Is it resentment for the difficulties they so long encountered that has so many now behaving aggressively entitled?

Take the instance of a couple who moved to the small town of Arnprior several years ago. One, a medical doctor, had the financial wherewithal to purchase a heritage property on a beautiful site just outside of the town. The doctor and his partner preferred that their property be off limits to locals, whereas the previous owners welcomed locals to use parts of their property as walk-throughs or short-cuts.

There's an adjacent nature preserve that the locals enjoy, contiguous with the couple's property on which sits the mansion they own. To ensure that their property was no longer viewed as acceptable for public access, they erected a wire fence around it and posted it with 'no trespassing' signs. Moves obviously geared to endear themselves to their neighbours.

When an older couple happened, one winter, to intrude on a portion of their property while on a winter outing, they were halted by the owners and informed they were not welcome there. And the local police were contacted to enforce the private sanctity of their property. It just happened that the older couple were long-time residents of Arnprior, had raised their children there, two of whom were adopted and black.
Oh yes, and the male of the couple was the town mayor.

The doctor and his partner had sent a missive to the Town Council, inviting them to recognize Gay Pride day, and to erect colourful banners in town for the occasion. The Town Council chose to ignore the invitation. Which led the doctor and his partner to claim homophobia was alive and well in town. Justifying their shutting their property off from use by the hateful residents.

The unfortunate events have since been aired publicly, and the town has been portrayed as backwards, a haven for bigots. The mayor himself attests that his adopted children did run across some racist remarks when they were growing up, but no more, he asserts, than anywhere else in society. He raised them to fend for themselves, to befriend those whose ignorance could be imputed to lack of exposure.

So this has turned into a spider's web of misunderstandings and resentments. Most certainly not to be envisaged as a how-to manual on making friends and influencing people.