It Gets Better
Young kids at school have always had a difficult time of it if they weren't popular, admired, part of a clique, a club, a group of like-minded others, followers of a leader. The outsiders were just that. Fending for themselves, on their own. If they found another kid who was like them, shunned and set apart they might cling together for comfort. But they represented those not privileged to be liked by others.
For a gregarious species, which is what human beings are, this is a dreadfully onerous and hurtful scenario. For young teens already undergoing confusing hormonal changes and alterations in the way they think about themselves and their place in society, it's beyond humiliating, it's sad and lonely and miserable. No one wants to be alone.
And then, there's the situation of kids who discover they're alter-gender oriented. Not the same as most of the other kids. They're not attracted to the opposite sex, but to those of their own gender. Which in and of itself is confusing and misery-inducing. But to add to the misery, to make it absolute, to be singled out and identified for that difference.
To be held in contempt, to be humiliated. To have threats come your way, insulting epithets, the scorn of the others, it's just too much. It would be difficult for anyone to counter that, but for a vulnerable kid who just wants to get along with everyone, it's monumentally, psychically destabilizing. Doubts set in, and self-harming thoughts begin to appear as both solace and an escape route.
In the wake of the death of a 15-year-old Ottawa boy who simply gave up on anticipating that life would get easier for him in due course, the entire public has been alerted to the dreadful effects of bullying. And laudably, three members of federal parliament, Vic Toews, John Baird and Rona Ambrose lent themselves to an encouraging video that kids could access.
The video built on one that a Seattle-based writer initiated. A YouTube video titled "It Gets Better" assured young people that they could hang in, that although they were suffering misery and being ostracized, it wouldn't always be like that. They would discover many others like themselves, with whom they would have much in common, and they would find comfort in new contacts and new opportunities.
Yet, those very public figures adding their encouraging voices to the "It Gets Better" campaign, to help build confidence for young gays, have come under fire. The originator of the campaign is frigid in his response, because it is Conservatives adding their voices, elected officials who would not support gay marriage.
It is their way or no way; one cannot have reservations about a cultural institution being used in a manner that seems to make no good sense without danger of being accused of homophobia. The gay community feels justified in somehow denigrating those who fail to fall completely in line with their demands however frivolously inane they seem, just as they complained about being denigrated themselves in the past.
Seems the gay community is being hypocritical, in demanding that all their fantasies be accepted as legitimate and to be writ into law. If they want and insist on being treated like everyone else they must understand that this is precisely what is happening. Care and compassion does not stop at the line that crosses into gay marriage acceptance.
Gays, in fact, are no different than anyone else; they simply have one additional burden that society has traditionally imposed upon them, and they, and society, simply have to learn to lift that burden. Lifting that burden to complete equality does not necessarily equate with submitting to all demands that make no sense whatever; civil unions with all lawful protections equal to marriage is a rational, intelligent compromise.
Gay marriage, by contrast, is a social compact absurdity. It reflects the gay community unwilling to surrender to reality themselves. It amounts to embracing a heterosexual convention, while insisting that homosexuality and heterosexuality are naturally opposite. One is nature's way of species preservation, the other is not.
Accepting that reality, we move on from there and live our lives as we are most comfortable in doing. Rejecting the impulse to continually act out like impulsive, demanding adolescents.
For a gregarious species, which is what human beings are, this is a dreadfully onerous and hurtful scenario. For young teens already undergoing confusing hormonal changes and alterations in the way they think about themselves and their place in society, it's beyond humiliating, it's sad and lonely and miserable. No one wants to be alone.
And then, there's the situation of kids who discover they're alter-gender oriented. Not the same as most of the other kids. They're not attracted to the opposite sex, but to those of their own gender. Which in and of itself is confusing and misery-inducing. But to add to the misery, to make it absolute, to be singled out and identified for that difference.
To be held in contempt, to be humiliated. To have threats come your way, insulting epithets, the scorn of the others, it's just too much. It would be difficult for anyone to counter that, but for a vulnerable kid who just wants to get along with everyone, it's monumentally, psychically destabilizing. Doubts set in, and self-harming thoughts begin to appear as both solace and an escape route.
In the wake of the death of a 15-year-old Ottawa boy who simply gave up on anticipating that life would get easier for him in due course, the entire public has been alerted to the dreadful effects of bullying. And laudably, three members of federal parliament, Vic Toews, John Baird and Rona Ambrose lent themselves to an encouraging video that kids could access.
The video built on one that a Seattle-based writer initiated. A YouTube video titled "It Gets Better" assured young people that they could hang in, that although they were suffering misery and being ostracized, it wouldn't always be like that. They would discover many others like themselves, with whom they would have much in common, and they would find comfort in new contacts and new opportunities.
Yet, those very public figures adding their encouraging voices to the "It Gets Better" campaign, to help build confidence for young gays, have come under fire. The originator of the campaign is frigid in his response, because it is Conservatives adding their voices, elected officials who would not support gay marriage.
It is their way or no way; one cannot have reservations about a cultural institution being used in a manner that seems to make no good sense without danger of being accused of homophobia. The gay community feels justified in somehow denigrating those who fail to fall completely in line with their demands however frivolously inane they seem, just as they complained about being denigrated themselves in the past.
Seems the gay community is being hypocritical, in demanding that all their fantasies be accepted as legitimate and to be writ into law. If they want and insist on being treated like everyone else they must understand that this is precisely what is happening. Care and compassion does not stop at the line that crosses into gay marriage acceptance.
Gays, in fact, are no different than anyone else; they simply have one additional burden that society has traditionally imposed upon them, and they, and society, simply have to learn to lift that burden. Lifting that burden to complete equality does not necessarily equate with submitting to all demands that make no sense whatever; civil unions with all lawful protections equal to marriage is a rational, intelligent compromise.
Gay marriage, by contrast, is a social compact absurdity. It reflects the gay community unwilling to surrender to reality themselves. It amounts to embracing a heterosexual convention, while insisting that homosexuality and heterosexuality are naturally opposite. One is nature's way of species preservation, the other is not.
Accepting that reality, we move on from there and live our lives as we are most comfortable in doing. Rejecting the impulse to continually act out like impulsive, demanding adolescents.
Labels: Human Relations
posted by Pieface | 8:05 PM
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