"Buy More, Drink More"
At last, an Ontario politician addressing a subject dear to the hearts of all Ontarians. This is no taboo subject, it's a feel-good exercise, imbibing lustily to soothe one's feelings of having been hard done by through the political/social juggling act of the environment-obsessed Liberal government of Dalton McGuinty. We just think we're a trifle upset by soaring energy bills, thanks to Premier McGuinty's dedication to green measures.
He made a pledge to rid Ontario of its coal-firing plants, and he's doing it. Of course, the fact that scientists and environmentalists share those concerns and have been instrumental in designing cleaner-burning furnaces and more upgraded methods to scrub the burn-off to render it far less harmless to the atmosphere appears to be dismissively incidental. That a growing popular movement protesting the proliferation of wind farms is another inconvenience this government can deal with.
Taxpaying, voting families who struggle to make ends meet and are faced with increasing electrical bills will be absolutely thrilled out of their minds to discover that Ontario's Conservative leader Tim Hudack is prepared to address these problems, and go out of his way to placate the voters. Be happy, don't be concerned, give yourself a break and have a beer.
"I do hear from people who say 'come on, I can't even get a buck a beer in this province thanks to Dalton McGuinty's policies", divulged Mr. Hudak in a frank talk about how a government under his auspices would handle the rising cost of energy, food and whatever else irks the electorate. "A buck a beer" is on the horizon. That should salve many peoples' concerns.
Salve, but not solve the real issues. People will be able to afford their beer now, cheap! now, drink more!?! If they're sloshed out of their minds they'll be more likely to be less abrasively troublesome. Slashing the price of a case of 24 beers from the current $25.95 (bottle deposit not included) to a far more palatable $24.00 is certain to make a biiig difference in peoples' lives.
For one thing, we'll have an extra, disposable, luxurious $1.95 jingling around in our pocketbooks affording us the opportunity to splurge on other desirable items we cannot conceivably live without; bags of yummy potato chips, for example, to go with the beer. Or salted peanuts; take your pick, the choice is yours!
Why, parents concerned about the rising cost of milk can just do as the French once did, and dilute beer (instead of wine) to serve to their youngsters. The LCBO and the beer-producing industry will thank them for such graciousness and generosity in promoting the incidence of future alcoholics, to further burden the provincial health-care system.
Decisions such as these have far-reaching consequences, and Mr. Hudak is extremely perspicacious to understand that making beer more affordable will end up making life far more pleasant for the peasants.
He made a pledge to rid Ontario of its coal-firing plants, and he's doing it. Of course, the fact that scientists and environmentalists share those concerns and have been instrumental in designing cleaner-burning furnaces and more upgraded methods to scrub the burn-off to render it far less harmless to the atmosphere appears to be dismissively incidental. That a growing popular movement protesting the proliferation of wind farms is another inconvenience this government can deal with.
Taxpaying, voting families who struggle to make ends meet and are faced with increasing electrical bills will be absolutely thrilled out of their minds to discover that Ontario's Conservative leader Tim Hudack is prepared to address these problems, and go out of his way to placate the voters. Be happy, don't be concerned, give yourself a break and have a beer.
"I do hear from people who say 'come on, I can't even get a buck a beer in this province thanks to Dalton McGuinty's policies", divulged Mr. Hudak in a frank talk about how a government under his auspices would handle the rising cost of energy, food and whatever else irks the electorate. "A buck a beer" is on the horizon. That should salve many peoples' concerns.
Salve, but not solve the real issues. People will be able to afford their beer now, cheap! now, drink more!?! If they're sloshed out of their minds they'll be more likely to be less abrasively troublesome. Slashing the price of a case of 24 beers from the current $25.95 (bottle deposit not included) to a far more palatable $24.00 is certain to make a biiig difference in peoples' lives.
For one thing, we'll have an extra, disposable, luxurious $1.95 jingling around in our pocketbooks affording us the opportunity to splurge on other desirable items we cannot conceivably live without; bags of yummy potato chips, for example, to go with the beer. Or salted peanuts; take your pick, the choice is yours!
Why, parents concerned about the rising cost of milk can just do as the French once did, and dilute beer (instead of wine) to serve to their youngsters. The LCBO and the beer-producing industry will thank them for such graciousness and generosity in promoting the incidence of future alcoholics, to further burden the provincial health-care system.
Decisions such as these have far-reaching consequences, and Mr. Hudak is extremely perspicacious to understand that making beer more affordable will end up making life far more pleasant for the peasants.
Labels: Health, Human Relations, Ontario, Politics of Convenience
posted by Pieface | 10:30 AM
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