Geneva: Conference on Racism - A Resounding Success!

The much-debated and anticipated United Nations-sponsored World Conference Against Racism has finally begun. Already it can be pronounced a success, for none other than Iran's most honourable and highly respected President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, speaking on the opening day as "guest of honour" has unveiled the true nature of the State of Israel, and that, incidentally, of Jews in general, revealing them for the racists that they have always been suspected of being.

The gravity of the conference and the hushed attention to the speaker was momentarily diverted by the insulting appearance of two unconscionable protesters dressed in rainbow wigs, who had the unspeakable temerity to toss red clown noses at the honoured guest as he initiated his speech with a Muslim prayer. The malefactors were revealed to represent a French Jewish student group determined to label the conference a hypocritical masquerade of anti-racism. They chorused 'racist, racist' as they tossed the noses at the honoured guest, having obviously forgotten his name.

They were summarily disposed of. This is no laughing matter. This mischief so enraged many diplomats that they rose from their seats and vacated the hall in Geneva. Oh, sorry. It seems the diplomats who left the conference in protest did so to avoid hearing the honoured guest launch a tirade against the government of Israel, that racist Zionist entity. They may not have entirely appreciated the honoured guest's inclusion for censure of the United States.

Another trouble-maker, Harvard law professor Alan Dershowitz had already been escorted from the Geneva hotel which President Ahmadinejad graced with his presence. He had the effrontery to wish to consult their honoured guest about his views on the Holocaust and Israel. So much for graciousness, for free speech and civil discourse. Honoured guests are not to be irritated by unwanted truth-seekers, nor belittled by their controversial stances in questioning those of honoured guests.

As the hall emptied of those delegates who appeared morally affronted by Mr. Ahmadinejad's generous sharing of his feelings and view of history, those who remained applauded heartily, encouraging the honoured guest to continue to enlighten them. Those diplomats left to eagerly imbibe the opinions and denunciations did not represent Germany, Canada, Italy, Sweden, Netherlands, United States, Czechoslovakia, Australia, New Zealand, or Poland.

The representatives to the conference from France and England remained steadfastly seated. Although France's delegate ungraciously characterized what emanated from the mouth of the honoured guest as a 'hate speech'. Nevertheless, of the 30 countries' representatives who walked out - not, obviously, those who boycotted the proceedings entirely - most would return to participate in the balance of the conference.

As matters transpired, Mr. Ahmadinejad appeared to be the sole major leader of a country to attend the conference. His interesting conclusion that Jewish migrants from Europe and the United States - most certainly not refugees who managed to survive the Holocaust, since it most certainly never did occur - had been purposefully sent to the Middle East to illegally oust the Palestinians to enable the squatters "in order to establish a racist government in the occupied Palestine."

How very fitting that this United Nations event, calling together the world body to discuss the vile scourge of racism takes place on the eve of Holocaust Remembrance Day. "And in fact", lectured the honoured guest ... "in compensation for the dire consequences of racism in Europe, they helped bring to power the most cruel and repressive racist regime in Palestine." Who, if they only tried, could emulate Iran's humane treatment of the dregs of Islamist society represented by gays, Baha'i, the irreligious, and protesters.

Post-speech the honoured guest pointed out the obvious, that those countries who confoundingly chose to boycott the forum were demonstrating their 'arrogance and selfishness'. Once again in evidence as the U.S. Ambassador to the UN, speaking from headquarters in New York added: "We call on the Iranian leadership to show much measured, moderate, honest and constructive rhetoric when dealing with issues in the region, and not this type of vile, hateful, inciteful speech."

In response to which Mr. Ahmadinejad must most surely have wondered what on earth the problem was, since he most certainly did demonstrate measured moderation, honest and constructive rhetoric, and, come to think of it, he most certainly did take umbrage at the vile, hateful and inciteful response on the part of the U.S. Ambassador. For the honoured guest's speech was insightful, not inciteful; don't those cretins know the difference?

And French Foreign Minister Bernard Kouchner, speaking afterward unburdened himself: "The defence of human rights and the fight against all types of racism are too important for the United Nations not to unite against all forms of hate speech, against all perversion of this message." To which, surely, the honoured guest must have murmured his deep appreciation. At last, someone of keen intellect, who understood the message properly; for that indeed was what the speech intended.

As for UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon, expressing his dismay over the unfortunate boycotts, the walk-outs, and the speech by the honoured guest, one can only scratch one's proverbial head. And empathize with the honoured guest over the perversity of human nature, the utter incomprehension of Mr. Ban claiming that the honoured guest had taken advantage of his opportunity to address the gathering "to accuse, divide and even incite".

Wot! Say that again? Slowly, please. I can feel myself, in sympathy with Mr. Ahmadinejad, taking offence. On the other hand, he's also considering the source...